Are ghazals dying a slow, painful death?

I caught a glimpse of the now ending Ghazal era in my childhood, thanks to music loving parents. While I grew up listening to Jagjit Singh, Chitra Singh and Ghulam Ali, I never got a chance to listen to other artists. May be they were never played at our house. But my parents were pretty keen on listening to all sorts of music. When it was ghazal night at home (our father essentially playing only ghazals that evening) the lights had to be dimmed, there were special lamps that uplifted the ambience by mellowing down the lights. The whole scene changed. And slowly, calmly, Ghulam Ali would start setting the evening through our vinyl player…

While I’ve heard only versions of the ghazalaaj jaane ki zidd na karo by Farida Khanum, I heard the original only a while ago (yes, I am embarassed to admit this). And what brought me to writing this post is the chatter of “wah wah” and “kya baat hai” in the background of this ghazal recorded live.

I miss that era.

When music meant much much more than just beats. When artists were appreciated respectfully and their songs brought meaning to life – somehow. Those ghazals would bring a soothing breeze with them. The lyrics were what mattered and the tune those lyrics were woven into brought magic. I love the ghazal aaj jaane ki zidd na karo, and that is the first song that comes to my mind when I’m humming everyday. I instantly fell in love with the lyrics, the moment I heard it and never stopped since then. We talk about love in this age, but that ghazal brings out the agony of your beloved leaving, so well. Words, sigh!

Kagaz ki kashti by Jagjit Singh is another favourite that fits into our grown up lives so well. Is there anybody who doesn’t get emotional listening to that song? Ghulam Ali’s hungama hai kyun barpa would be a treat for our previous generation, when drinking together with friends was an occasion, unlike an everyday thing nowadays.

What happened to us, I wonder. Does anybody realise that ghazals might very well be one of the dying art forms? It breaks my heart to see music being restricted to only dance numbers with occasional soulful melodies once in a while. To date, what plays after 10pm in my maternal house every night are songs from the black and white era. It never changed and I would never want it to. And those songs are the inevitably our choice whenever we resort to playing songs at night.

I have not been able to identify with songs that are created nowadays. Lately, I find myself going back to numbers that are old and settled in the 90s. But yes, my heart breaks at the thought of our next generation (or for that matter this too) not being able to understand why these slow melodies meant so much and how they were the essence of music – similar to a faint perfume that lingered on. And how I am obsessing over an almost empty bottle that I might not be able to find in the market anymore….

There’s No Age For Harassment

If you think this post is about the recent ugly events related to harassment around the country, it isn’t. But it certainly is a post about my personal experience with the act, although, quite a tad bit late.

When I was new in Bangalore, I would travel by buses that are an open invitation to gropers/harassers everywhere. There have been times when a secret act would startle me or most of the girls, but it was so secret that nobody else could notice. The one time I was absolutely stunned was while walking on a footpath. The potential man didn’t even look intimidating and crossed me coming from the opposite side, with a quick and swift grab at my butt! I spit out dirty words at him while he ran away, giving me no closure whatsoever. That’s when I realised, it’s such an easy task for them, but such a difficult memory to erase, for us.

It was only after I understood the word harassment in its true sense that I could validate what a horrid teenage life I had lived, for a while. Cut to almost 15 years back when I was just entering my teens. I was in a state-board co-ed school with really fun friends, having the time of my life, living on my own terms (at least I thought so!). In just a day, the entire-remaining 3 years of my school life (and two years ahead) were destined for a scary hell. Which, by the way, at that point in time, seemed like it would fade away. But it has stayed engraved to this day and it has ruined my school life. When people state they want to go back to school, I don’t identify with them. At all.

When I entered 8th standard, there was this silent looking boy with piercing, piercing eyes who suddenly became interested in me. Very easily terming it as love, at that time. And after that, there has not been a single day in the next 3-5 years that he hadn’t bothered me with his psychotic acts. Following me home, trying to talk to my friends, almost coming to my home, singing friggin loudly around the lanes of my house to make his presence felt, following me to relatives and friends – I was fucking scared all the time. Anticipating his next move, wondering whether he would do something inappropriate, shit scared to go to school every day, wondering what I’d do in my best friend’s absence to accompany me all the way to school and back, making sure I was surrounded by someone all the time, executing plans that I normally wouldn’t to get him off my back – these memories define my early teens. The whole school knew, they would tease him and he would smile. Oh, how I remember that evil smile. Those eyes and that smile were my nightmares. When he wasn’t around, those eyes would bother me. I wanted to know what was going on in his head. It was easy to call him a psycho but why did I have to face hell? He was never on the losing end of this all.

To top it all, he picked up bad habits and blamed it on me. He would be involved in accidents and come looking for me. And those school mates who didn’t realise the seriousness of it, would come and tease me. I just wanted school to get over! My sister and friends tried to talk him out of this but he wasn’t harming me physically, in his defense. It was such a filthy game that worked in his favour!

This continued for another two years of my college and I would be ready with a divider (the mathematical instrument), to use it if the need be. I had less people to protect me in college and something had to come handy! He would constantly come up and talk. There were people on the same route everyday that saw this ordeal, making me feel embarassed and ashamed all of my 5 years! was at the receiving end and bearing the brunt of it all.

And one day he suddenly stopped coming. You know that creepy feeling of a ghost being around? I felt like that for a long time. It has a term, trauma. My daily ritual of looking around to escape this creep didn’t stop for about a year, being scared all the time that he would pop up from somewhere one day.

He stopped his insanity, but it took away 5 whole years of my teenage life, where I was supposed to live a normal life with no complexities and complexes to deal with. Even today, people make fun of that whole time and how it was lame. If only, they were in my shoes. They think I have forgiven him. I tried, but I cannot. Because I am not a saint. Yes it bothers me, yes it might be harmful for me but since he hasn’t apologised, and even if he does – I cannot see myself giving control to him on this front. Nothing inside me allows me to forgive him.

School friends tell me at least he never spoke dirty of me. Does it matter? I have wished bad things for him, all through those five years but it never affected his life! He got away with a forgotten name and a teasing memory for people to make fun of, but what did I get in return?

I saw him 3 years ago at a wedding and I felt all those feelings rushing back to me – those fears, those dirty eyes. I felt unsafe in a crowd of hundreds. My heart beat ran faster than usual. He was clearly avoiding me, but it was as if nothing had changed. I grabbed onto my husband’s hand and unknowingly feared him coming closer. After more than a decade, nothing had changed for me.

From the bottom of my heart, if you’re reading this –

a) Please don’t let someone harass you, fight for it.
b) If you see someone being victimised, please help.
c) If you find joy in eve teasing, please stop since all you’re getting in return are curses.
d) If you know someone going through this or has gone through this, please don’t make fun of it. Talk to them.
e) And to all those who don’t understand, there’s never a closure.

A Breakfast Pair and a Recipe

It would be fitting to say that I discovered a lot of South India on my plate once I moved to Bangalore with my sister. As an Andhrite, typical meals were served to us mostly during festivals, apart from the regular everyday fare like rasam or sambhar. Thanks to my mother who was brought up in MP, we got best of both worlds – North and South India.

But when I moved to Bangalore, I started falling in love with the simplicity and complexity of South Indian food. Udupi food became my favourite with just the varieties of dosas they would bring to the table and then my sister introduced me to her favourite – Vellappam and Stew. Fast forward to 3 years from that time, and I was being served home-made vellappam-stew by my mother-in-law. Little did I know way back in 2009, that Kerala food would soon become a homely affair!

One of our friends describes vellappam quite aptly – a bowl shaped dosa with thick idli in between! My mother-in-law is one of the best cooks I’ve come across, she has a Midas Touch when it comes to food and boy there was no way I could match up to that. But learning never stops and hence I slowly dived into recipes from this state. While the batter of vellappam was simple to make, it involved preparation ahead. What caught my attention was the potato stew which is so delicious and much more easier to make. That was a relief and thankfully, I mastered the art of a near-perfect potato stew; while vellappam still varies sometimes.

And so here it is, the simplest of potato stews that you can cook up in a jiffy, literally:

Ingredients:
5-6 medium sized potatoes, roughly chopped
2 medium sized onions, thinly sliced or roughly chopped (depends on preference)
1-2 tbsp chopped ginger (an important ingredient)
Slit green chillies, as per preferred spiciness
Coconut milk – I use Maggi coconut milk powder
1-2 tsp crushed black pepper (you can add more or less depending on preference, but pepper plays an important role in the stew)
1 tsp mustard seeds
A handful of curry leaves
1-2 tbsp coconut oil (preferably) or any other normal oil.
Water

Method:
In a pressure cooker, take the potatoes, onions, chopped ginger, green chillies and water – about an inch more than after vegetables are covered. Cook this mixture for 3-4 whistles, so that potatoes can be mashed easily later.
Let the pressure release by itself.
Meanwhile, read the instructions on the coconut milk packet and prepare the thick version of milk, about 1/2 to 3/4th cup only (since we already have water in the cooker).
Open the cooker and mash the potatoes roughly. Put this back on the flame on simmer, add pepper powder and coconut milk.
At this stage, if you feel the stew requires more water, add it.
Stir to mix everything well and bring to one boil on a low flame.
Add salt, check for the need to add more pepper powder and turn off the flame.
Heat oil in a separate, deep bottomed pan. Add mustard seeds and let them splutter; add curry leaves and turn off the flame.
Spread this seasoning over the stew and close the lid for the aroma to be infused.

Till I share the recipe of vellappam, savour these with dosas!

Vellappam-Stew

Vellappam-Stew

 

The Lover of Winds…

… and everything I relate it to.

I sit facing a balcony that gives me a magnanimous view of the open skies amidst a few buildings, one of which has a castle like roof and somehow makes me feel like I’m in a fairy tale of my own. We moved to Pune 9 months ago and the first thing that made me fall in love with this rented house was the spacious design and three big balconies! One of which gives a view of the small hill range we have at the back. I knew that instant, monsoons would be gorgeous from this house. The husband and I are immensely in love with the monsoons and since last October, have been waiting for June!

Comparatively open spaces around our apartment has been a blessing – we find a daily visitor enveloping our souls with its charm – the winds! Wild, soft, breezy – it has its different moods everyday, but who’s complaining? Thanks to the hills at our backyard, these winds grace us during all seasons and have made me fall in love with this area quite a lot. Summers were a cool affair as we would graciously let the winds play around the house and our families were surprised that we spent the tropical summers without the help of a dessert cooler or just a cooler for that matter! And the sunset, oh the sunset. It’s a show of its own on a daily basis – mesmerising – to put it in one word.

I was waiting so eagerly for the monsoon here, being so close to the Western ghats, I was pretty sure it would be something different from what I have witnessed all these years from the central part of India. When the rains arrived punctually on 1st June, I was stunned! The amount of rains, the behaviour and pattern was something I had never seen before and I could only gauge what the arrival must mean on the Western coasts of India. Since then, it has been raining almost everyday or the weather is just to die for with monsoon clouds hovering above the city and winds blowing in.

What does this lover of wind find so attractive? The way it stuns me with its advent, the curtains dancing to the tune of its music, the trees swaying as if charmed by the winds, the cup of chai that it nudges me to brew and the fantastic view which we both adore throughout the day – oh, it seems like I’m having an affair with the winds!

Monsoon Clouds in Pune

Monsoon clouds in Pune

One of the many beautiful sunset in Pune

One of the many beautiful sunsets in Pune

Two Drops of Water to Spare

To be frank, I don’t when or how I became more loving towards the environment in general. I’m pretty sure it goes back to my roots somewhere, but I have no vivid recollection of it. My parents’ love for gardening sowed seeds of love towards these leafy friends, star gazing at night with my sister while she tried to figure out constellations by herself made me fall in love with the night sky, feeding stray animals and birds around the house brought in a special affection for them. I remember me and my sister were not huge fans of bursting crackers during Diwali and when our school came up with a program of volunteers for saving the environment, I jumped right in as the first mission was to discourage people from bursting crackers.

Then came a phase in my life where I realised my love for water in all its forms. As I grew up and the world around us started becoming careless towards the very source of our existence, something didn’t seem right. The growing scarcity of water and the fact that our country is very much water-based (in terms of daily chores) didn’t make sense. What made sense was the effort that we could bring in to slightly change our habits, but it’s been years and everything seems to be getting worse. Thankfully, I found a partner who agreed on my thoughts of hating water wastage and had stood up against it in the past, during our school days. Together, we began our own mission of wasting less and less water and utilising so called unusable water – limited to our world of two.

When we were in Nagpur and heard about the drought that had affected Marathwada, we were concerned. Concerned because we were soon moving to Pune and the thought of adding a burden of two more people to the already suffering region, made us feel guilty. Friends and family were concerned how we would manage with limited supply of water and somehow, that was never on our list. It’s been six months since we’ve moved here and the shocking part was to see people waste so much water in this already affected city! It burnt our hearts when we saw people wasting water in Nagpur and it makes us cringe when we see that happening here – a drought declared region. Selfish race, we are.

And then, I decided to share small everyday habits that I and V observe to save as much water as we can from our side. Our two drops, but makes us feel less guilty. Whoever reads this, in whatever city or country, please keep in mind that small steps go a long way in creating a sustainable environment. Whether you have excess water or just the right amount, remember, that someone somewhere is craving for a drop of it.

1) Use buckets for bathing, not showers – Buckets ensure a limited amount of water usage while showers are supposed to be indulgent.
2) Store water in buckets and use that throughout the day in toilets. Don’t flush for peeing. One flush wastes a whole lot of water than is required.
3) Water used for washing vegetables, or used just to clean utensils without soap – collect and save it through the day. Reuse this water for plants in your own garden and for trees around the house/building.
4) Collect water required to be let go from RO water purifiers. Use it in washing machines, to clean utensils or store them in buckets to use in bathrooms.
5) Wash balconies (only if the need be), bathrooms or toilets with water collected from washing machines (collect this water through each cycle) or if you have a maid for washing clothes, save that water in a bucket. It already has soap and can serve the purpose. You can use this water throughout the day in toilets as well.
6) Don’t throw away drinking water remaining in bottles, collect this as well for usage in bathrooms or for plants.
7) Wipe your cars, two-wheelers or cycles with a wet cloth daily. Resort to washing only if the need be and in less frequency – once in two weeks may be.
8) Please don’t leave taps open while brushing or washing hands. Fix leakages on priority.
9) If using washing machine, use it once a week for washing all clothes together. Clothes can’t be that dirty. Please think twice before using the machine since it requires a whole lot of water; and do try to reuse that water.
10) If taking a shower two times a day is a habit, do let that go.

I really hope these small steps are helping in some way or the other. If you have any more suggestions, I would love to know. Anything to help save water!

Image source – petapixel.com

 

Remembering Words of Wisdom

Lately, I have been missing my grandma on and off. When she was alive, I never thought I would miss her. Now this is my paternal grandmother I’m talking about and she lived to be a 98! I had a good yet different relationship with her all through my 25 years of life. Nowadays when I see an old woman walking by, I think of my grandma or bamma as we called her.

Bamma was a self-made, self-taught woman from that generation. She was married to my grandfather at the age of 13 and since then, had been a great housewife, a great mother and a definitely an amazing grandmother. When people in general and my friends talk about food cooked by their grandmother, I have memories of none. Either we were too busy, or she was old already. I mean, at times I wonder and crave for that warmth that comes from a grandmother through food. Of course, it’s not like I haven’t tasted any, but very few. I never regretted it when she was alive, but somehow I miss that now. My maternal grandmother also passed away when I was pretty young so there are no food memories from both sides!

But what bamma always preached to us about was being self-sufficient, self-dependent and a self-taught person. Regardless of gender, she would preach about that to all her grandchildren. So why do I recall her preaching now? Because I understand what she meant, much better now. V and I moved out of our home town Nagpur a month back to live in Pune. And you know what? I have been loving it ever since. I take immense pride in the fact that we have no help around the house and every chore is done by the both of us only. Instead of dividing responsibilities, we go with the flow. We cook for ourselves and friends, we do the dishes on our own, we wash our clothes daily and we clean the house by ourselves. And I love this independence more than anything. We’re dependent on ourselves when it comes to chores. And almost everyday I think of bamma. She always, always appreciated people doing things on their own. She took greater pride in that.

One of the things you realise when you grow up is that all those conversations and pieces of advice from elders hold a very important place in your life. If you think coming from that generation bamma was a very meek old lady, you’re wrong. She is one of the egoistic women I’ve come across in my life and egoistic in a good way. I like that and wonder whether I am even a pinch of that. I never saw her praying in the house, though she would keep chanting His name. She stood by what she said, stubbornly. She didn’t require help in all her life, except for the last few months.

She would’ve appreciated men from this generation who help out their wives. She was a perfect blend of orthodox and modernism for me. And here I am, just a small fraction of her blood, remembering her in the simplest of things.

A City, An Emotion

The other day, V and I were on our way home from a routine road that I could walk blindfolded. After all, I have an almost 28 year old love-hate relationship with this city – Nagpur. Every road is an etched map in itself.

This city holds all my memories, it holds my life in its hands. Childhood memories, growing up years, college years, friends from all phases, good and bad memories, my darkest secrets – it is holding everything in it safely as I am holding them. Sometimes its scary isn’t it? Or is it not? The fact that your best friend and this city knows everything about you, inside out. Only difference is, one can spill it out while the other will make you go through those moments everytime you get out on these very roads. The city doesn’t care if you had a good time or bad. It just means to show you what your life has been.

And that particular road didn’t exactly bring back good memories for me. But on the other side of that road was an area where I had spent the most fun time of my childhood. This was definitely irony for me. It was like standing at cross roads, only, I had chosen my path way back from this junction. I’m not regretting anything I have done in my life, but this road reminded me how simply blunt our lives can be – in a good way. There’s no need to hide, no space to hold back. Everything is an open book in the form of a city! Sometimes you can’t even look at a building and speed up to avoid it, while other times, you crave to go to another that has been an important part of your life.

The city, its roads, its lanes and by-lanes are a chapter-wise book – you just have to flip through and its similar to being in a time machine. What varies though is, you know how to come back this time. How not to mess up the future. And how happily to live your today.

A city is that part of your soul, which refuses to leave you, how much ever you want it to. On the contrary, its the same city that runs through your fingers like sand, when you try to hold on to it tightly. It’s an emotion of another kind.

 

Gorgeous Nagpur Sky!

Gorgeous Nagpur Sky!

Why I chose Malayalam Movies over Bollywood

Ever since I remember, I’ve been a fan of movies. Thanks to the parents for giving me a flair of appreciating meaningful movies. As I grew up, I also started liking no brainer ones. Especially since I started working, I realised no-brainer movies were a good way to keep your mind at home and just relax while being amused at the stupidity portrayed in such movies. No doubt I never missed good, meaningful movies which everyone else chose to ignore because it looked ‘serious’.

Me and my sister (especially) would indulge in movies from around the world and different Indian languages too. Marathi movies were a regular feature because we were born and brought up in Maharashtra. We somehow never stuck to Telugu movies since they came across as really useless. But to our credit, we watched a few black and white Telugu movies which were simply marvellous. I had always heard about Malayalam movies being brilliant. And then I fell in love with a Malayalee, following which my heart told me to listen to Malayalee songs (sigh! What all love makes you do!). Thanks to my many Malayalee friends, I decided to watch a movie too. My first ever Malayalam movie in a theater was Ustaad Hotel. I was instantly awestruck by just the opening credits of the movie – what brilliance! As the story slowly unfolded, I completely enjoyed the concept and how routine – yet different – the story line was. I had made a choice, unknowingly, then.

Within that same year I got married and moved to a different culture. Everything was so normal and yet so different. I was being made comfortable by the in-laws and every day was turning out to be a fiesta of finding new things about each other. Then came a Sunday wherein the highlight was watching Malayalam movies through out the day! Old movies, new ones everything was on TV and I happily took in the experience. From Mammootty to Mohanlal to Biju Menon to Dileep – I watched recent-old movies. And like a true Malayalee, chose my favourite amongst these – Mammootty.

Ustad Hotel featured Mammootty’s son Dulquer Salman, and I had loved his acting in that movie. Then came another Sunday with new Malayalam movies! I was completely amused by the new generation of actors doing such good, meaningful movies, complete with all the works. I couldn’t choose just one from this new generation. Dulquer Salman has a class in his acting and also the ability to make us judge his acting as very relatable. Nivin Pauly (my personal favourite :D) dawns each rolls to the extent that one tends to forget he’s a celebrity. Fahad Faasil almost made me put him in the category of a serious actor until I saw Oru Indian Pranayakadha. Asif Ali has been growing in every movie and has never disappointed me. Not to forget Vineeth Srinivasan who is jack of all and master of all! Singer, actor, director – been there done that-type!

The woman clan is no less! Nithya Menon, Parvathy, Nazriya – all of them taking the wonderful de-glam quotient to another level. That is also what makes these movies relatable – I can see a part of myself in Nazriya from Bangalore Days – the efforts to make your husband happy. Nithya Menon sneaking out of the house to pursue a parallel, fun life of singing in Ustaad Hotel. Parvathy playing the role of a handicapped RJ who assures us that any dream is achievable and possible. And my favourite from Bangalore Days – Kalpana, who plays the role of Kuttan’s mother, is brilliant in portraying what a frustrating life she has led, according to her.

Another great factor about Malayalam movies is secularism, owing to reality in Kerala. Everyone lives together – Christians, Muslims and Hindus – shares each other’s joys and sorrows. Yes, communal riots are also more prevalent in the same state, but it has never given me a negative feeling. My father-in-law has numerous stories to tell of friends from different religions. And we still make sure to visit them when on a trip to Kerala. The same has come into movies. Whether it was Mammootty playing a staunch, rational Hindu Brahmin in Drona or Nivin Pauly playing Kuttan from Bangalore Days – the role play is impeccable.

The thing about Malayalam movies, in my opinion, is that they blend their everyday, subdued life with the now-changing city life very well. The innocence of a child, the dumb illusions of a teenager, the confusion of a pre-adult and the current situation of moving to new cities – nothing makes you think “this doesn’t happen”. It does, or at least it’s possible. Romance, thrillers, politics – everything is portrayed with great efforts. May be that is also the reason that Bollywood is now turning to remake these movies! Malayalam music is definitely worth a mention too. What freshness! You assume that a certain song will go this way but there are a whole lot of surprises in just one song! Yes, I will take nothing against Malayalam music 😀 Take a look at their movie posters! No wonder Malayalees are great designers.

Of course I have my preferences in Bollywood too. But if you ask me today, I really have to think twice before deciding to spend so much on a Hindi movie, unless the trailers assure me that they’re rather worth the money. Given another choice at hand, I almost prefer watching a good Malayalam movie at home rather than pondering over a Hindi movie. I see myself turning into the better Malayalee (hey, movies are very important) and even being agitated at the fact that Malayalam movies were not being released in Nagpur. But once they did start, I blindly booked tickets to Premam, coming out fully satisfied with the real movie experience.

'Premam' written in Malayalam, shaped into a butterfly!

‘Premam’ written in Malayalam, shaped into a butterfly!

Source – http://www.bharatmovies.com/

 

Dark Clouds

I craved for this since long
Peace, chai, winds around,
Glimpses of a favourite season
Add on to the list of reasons,
Are Indira’s horses really running over my head?
With thunderous feet and sudden screeches?
The sky changes colour in no time
The winds playing with Neem leaves, as if narrating a mime.
I wonder where those peacocks are spreading their gorgeous wings…
Then I look inside my heart and find it peeking.

 

A Comfort Zone!

Since two years of marriage, I and V would discuss what all would go into our house as a part of decoration, and more importantly, as a part of home. Our closet was full of collectibles, posters, toys, books and more. An integral part of our imagination was friends coming over. We would love to have buddies coming in to create a comfort zone of their own, in our house. With souvenirs set around our new rented place, I would wonder whether someone would appreciate all the little things we are putting in to call this place a home….

Friends have started visiting us more often! Night outs are planned and they just want to drop in for a cup of tea or coffee. And when this started happening, there was no limit to our joy! May it be weekdays or weekends, we are hosting friends and it just keeps our spirits high! Relatives visited us and just said okay things about our collectibles here and there. But when friends came over, all my doubts were thrown out of the window! All of them appreciated our decor so much that my happiness knew no bounds! They even went to the extent of saying that when they get a house, I would be the one to handle their decor 🙂 The Indian seating, souvenirs on the fridge, fridge magnets, small collectibles from USA that hang on our walls, quirky wall clock, even things in the kitchen – they noticed everything, every detail!

So when the husband asks people to consult me about decor and now even friends do, it reassures me that all the efforts put in have been turning out to be delightful for all those who come over. A space they feel comfortable in, a space they love. A place they feel happy to come to. And all those dreams of setting up a house with good vibes, happiness, fun, laughter, optimism – are coming true. One step at a time, every time. 🙂

Salt & Pepper Shaker

Mr & Mrs Snowman – Salt & Pepper Shakers!

This post about togetherness is written for Housing.